Stormy walks past firefighters clearing burned items from a house fire on Inca Parkway in Boulder on Thursday. Firefighters used a pet oxygen mask to help resuscitate the dog, the first time Boulder firefighters have used the tool. In his 13 years with the Boulder Fire Department, firefighter Mark Evans has had the unfortunate experience of carrying several dying dogs from scorched or burning homes.
When he carried a scruffy, unconscious dog from a partially

burnt south Boulder house — which caught fire when no residents were home Thursday — he and his partner had a new tool to help save Stormy. And it was on their truck because of two industrious Boulder teens.
Evans and his partner, Lt. Donald Olguin, used a pet oxygen mask to help the dog survive, marking the first time the department has used the tool. The fire department received the masks Saturday, whenClara Grainger, 14, and Isabel Lippincott, 13, donated them with money made from crafting and selling beaded bracelets.
Evans said the mask made for a “very, very cool” rescue of a dog that “wasn’t doing very well” when they found it.
“We put the oxygen on and, after about 10 or 15 minutes, it was able stand up and act fairly normal,” he said.
Firefighters found the dog after a passerby called 911 to report a house fire at 725 Inca Parkway around 4:30 p.m. No one was home when firefighters arrived, but they heard a faint whimpering. They eventually found Stormy in an upstairs bedroom.
The fire department hasn’t determined a cause and said no one was injured at the house, owned by Charles N. Hoffman, according to Boulder County records. The dog’s owners didn’t want to be interviewed.
Clara and Isabel brought the masks to each station Saturday after they raised enough money for the life-saving tools, which cost about $100 each. They began their bead project last year after Boulder Fire Chief Larry Donner said the department likely wouldn’t have enough money to buy the masks.
Lafayette, Louisville and Superior bought masks last April.
The teens sold the bracelets — ranging from $1.50 to $10 — outside grocery stores and to friends and family members.
“We hoped they were going to be able to save animals — we just didn’t know it would be this soon,” said Clara, an eighth-grader at Boulder’s Southern Hills Middle School. “We were just glad we brought them this weekend, and not next weekend.”
Stormie the dog seemed fine Thursday afternoon as she watched firefighters go through her house, where the fire seemed mostly contained to the basement.
Isabel was elated to hear that the dog she and her friend helped save was not only alive but alert and mobile.
“It’s very exciting. We were at a loss for words when we found out,” the Horizons K-8 charter school seventh-grader said. “It’s so exciting to know we helped save an animal’s life.”

1. Remember your partner isnít perfect. Many times we love our partner so much that we see them as more perfect than other people in our life. In this light, we hold them to an ideal, one that embraces the thought that this person will not hurt us.

   Many times we do this unconsciously. We make the mistake of forgetting they are human. As humans, we are designed to make mistakes. And sometimes, they may behave in a way which cause us to feel hurt. It is helpful to remember no one is perfect all the time. It is unrealistic to expect perfection from our partner. Allow them to make mistakes and forgive them for being human. It is through our mistakes that we learn. Embrace both your partnerís strengths and weaknesses.

2. Let your love be stronger than your anger. This is so important. Sometimes we get caught up in our need to be right. Yet being right isnít winning at all. Being angry disconnects us from ourself and our partner. It is the result feeling our needs arenít being met. Winning only has room for one.

   Explore what you need. Give some thought and ask yourself what do you need specifically, from your partner. This will help you think more clearly. Give yourself the luxury of putting yourself in time-out to clear your thoughts. Then communicate to your partner, as clearly as you can, what you are feeling. Ask for what you want or need and then be patient. Be very patient. Creating love, and especially lasting love, takes time.

3. Be flexible. After you ask for what you want, the next step is to be flexible. We become afraid when we arenít getting what we need. Our tendency then is to become rigid. It is difficult to be flexible and rigid at the same time. Try this: Ask you partner for three things, Then have your partner choose one of the three they can commit to doing. You wonít get all three but you will get one, and one is better than none. Trade places with your partner and do this exercise again to balance giving and receiving. Remember to be flexible.
4. Look for the good, no matter how small.Sometimes we overlook the small things our partner does for us. This is especially true for deeds done on a regular basis, like taking out the trash, cleaning the bathroom or making the bed. From a womanís point of view, when her partner does domestic chores, she sees him as contributing to the housework, not as doing something romantic. As a result, her husbandís efforts are not usually appreciated. Yet, this is the best way to demotivate a man - forget to appreciate his efforts.

   Appreciating a man for what he does, enables him to feel good about himself which in turn, motivates him to do more. A man thrives in a relationship where his efforts result in a happy woman.

   From a manís point of view, when his wife is talking, it may seem unimportant and pointless. Yet, validating what she is saying and empathizing with her feelings, fulfills a primary emotional need of hers. Women thrive in a relationship and have more to give when this one need is met.

5. Treat your spouse with the respect and kindness you show your friends. You married your best friend, but sometimes you may not feel this way. Still, they deserve the courtesies and kindness you bestow on your friends.

   Do something everyday to let your spouse know you care. It benefits both of you. Love is the strongest emotion we have. What brought you together is what will keep you together.

   If you find you have trouble expressing yourself, think back to a time when someone was nice to you, when someone said or did something kind. Recall the feelings. Connect with that memory. Doing this exercise will move you into a compassionate state of being, which is the goal. When you are feel compassionate, kindness and respect come naturally.

Are the challenges faced in relationships today different than 20 years ago, 10 years ago, or even 5 years ago?

This seems like a silly question. Of course they are. So why do we use the same relationship skills that were used 30 years ago? A woman’s role today is dramatically different than it was even just 10 years ago. Men’s roles have also changed. Never before in history have we faced the unique challenges of blending; family and children, work in a maleoriented environment, and if there is any energy left a love-relationship. Our society has few role models for these multiple challenges. Our mothers and grandmothers lived in a world where needs, desires and expectations were defined differently. We live in a world where the demands on our time effects how we choose to spend each day. Most of us are either consciously or unconsciously using the skills we learned by watching our parents. Maybe you are one of the people who swore they wouldn’t be like their parents, where do you learn the skills necessary to face today’s challenges in relationships?

The first step is to understand the differences between women and men. What are women’s interests and how do men’s interests differ? What makes men and women feel good about themselves in a relationship? What do women do to relieve stress and understand their problems? What do men do to relieve stress and solve their problems? These last two questions demonstrate how hard it is to effectively ask the same question about women & men, proving they approach problems differently. Why do we communicate so differently?

Dr. John Gray, author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, has spent 25 years working in this field. He has shown that women are generally interested in people and feelings, while men are interested in objects and things. Women experience love when shown caring, understanding and respect, while men experience love when shown trust, acceptance and appreciation. When under stress, women will openly talk about their problems. Men tend to retreat to "their cave" to solve their problems by themselves.

Jane asks her partner, "Is everything OK?" sensing he is stressed out. Mark mumbles, "Yeah, everythingís fine." His "Yeah" answer can be interpreted as, "Yeah, everything is okay, donít worry. I can figure this problem out on my own.î In addition, Mark doesn’t want to be drawn out to discuss a problem he feels he can solve on his own. A manís self esteem is directly connected to his need to feel like a capable problemsolver.

When asking a Jane the same question, "Is everything OK?", she may respond "I’m fine.î, but really mean, "If you really care, ask me more questions and when I feel safe, Iíll tell you whatís going on." A woman generally needs to discuss her feelings but needs to feel safe first.

Conversely, you probably have heard a man short circuit a conversation with "What’s your point?" This validates the belief that men communicate with a goal-oriented approach. He is ready to start solving the problem and stop discussing it.

Women, on the other hand, communicate to exchange ideas and discuss feelings. Women have found through talking about their problems they often find their solutions.

Understanding the differences between men & women will allow couples to more effectively get what they want in their relationships with their partner, clients and coworkers.

Science has proven that when our relationships are harmonious, and especially our "love relationship", our stress level is significantly reduced. We can better handle situations with our family and at work.

We, and our loved ones, deserve to know new ways to communicate. Men and women might be worlds apart, but fortunately we can come together, with mutual understanding and appreciation for our differences, and move forward in our relationships toward harmony and peace and love.

Beginning a Relationship
There is nothing that can compare to the feeling of falling in love. It captures our hearts and makes them beat faster when in the presence of our beloved. Love sets up camp in our minds and causes us think much differently than we normally would. It begins, sometimes very quickly, to take over our thoughts. Best of all it gives rebirth to our imagination.
As we fall deeper in love, we feed our imagination with new pictures. We imagine wonderful, future moments together. We even imagine how we will feel when those moments occur because we know exactly how we would like them to be played out. If we let our imaginations run free, these wonderful, future moments lead to imaginings of moving in together, marriage proposals, weddings and children.
And let’s not leave out sex. Sex with this new love will certainly be better that with What’s His Face or What’s Her Name. Yes, definitely there will lots of great sex with this person. Even if it is bad in the beginning, the imagination will make it so it is better the next time and the time after that, until it is heavenly. Yes, it is marvelous when our hormones dance and sing in utter delight. They sing and dance every time they are reborn. Or should I say, fall in love? Now, if you are single, why wouldn’t you want to feel this way?
With the internet at our fingertips, we can type a few stats about ourselves, and in just a few words -presto! We have a profile and we are on our way to Haveadatetonightville. Pick a dating web site using your ouija board and you are an online date waiting to happen. But what else is waiting to happen?
You are in control of your destiny with just the click of a mouse and the rap of a few keys. You can shop for a husband, a wife, a casual relationship, a sexual relationship - with any preference you can imagine, all at your fingertips.
Given that most of us weren’t brought up with communication and relationship skills, conflict resolution skills, especially for our love relationships, how is it that we are supposed to navigate our way around the internet dating world, creating a relationship that will work and better yet, last?
Who wouldn’t want to feel all the wonderful emotions that accompany falling in love? Who wouldn’t want to feel love and cared for? Protected and supported? Validated and understood?
These are primary emotional needs that must be met in order to be successful in relationships. It is a must if we want to have anything to give back in our relationships.

Underlying Reason Why Relationships Don’t Work
We are somewhat divided in where we stand. We say we want to be in a relationship, but there are some of us who like to stand near the fence called, “I really don’t want to be tied down. I really value my alone time. I like not having the responsibility of another’s happiness. Being alone means noone has expectations of me.”
Some lean on the fence called, “I will never allow myself get hurt like that again. If I did, I fear my heart would never recover.” Still others linger near the fence called, “I live for the moment, moment to moment. I don’t care about feelings, I just want have fun. I work hard and deserve to have fun.”
We can’t forget the ones who hug one fence after another
because they are in love with the feeling of falling in love. Once reality takes up residence in their relationship, they are out of there and on to the next relationship high.
Are you asking yourself, where do I fit in? Whose fence are you standing next to? When you have your answer, ask yourself if that is where you want to stay?
If it isn’t, then move. If it is where you want to stay, then by all means, stay. It is serving you in some way right now and that is exactly where you should be. You will move when you have completed your purpose there.
When you get clear about what you are doing, going online to date, dating different people every week or month, you will see how some of these underlying reasons sabotage your relationships.

She says : “Where is our relationship going?”
He says: “I didn’t know it was moving.”

Once we are in this relationship a little while, we naturally begin to think, especially if you are a woman, where is this relationship going? The idea of living together or getting married surfaces it’s chameleon face. You and your partner may even fall in love with the idea of getting married.
My question is, are you in love with the idea of getting married or the idea of being married? Getting married looks like planning for a special day, parties, gifts, new clothes, a honeymoon, invitations, flowers and don’t forget the ring. Being married usually looks like that feeling of being in love lasting forever. Except it doesn’t. The honeymoon does end, we learn our partner has faults and habits, some of which may not please us.
When you build a foundation with one person, build one that will hold your relationship up no matter what storms may come your way. In order to do this, you must pay attention to your relationship, not just your partner. That is my suggestion always and in all ways. Pay attention to your relationship. Don’t blow it off thinking it will take care of itself. For half the married population who divorced, that theory did not work. A relationship doesn’t so much take work as it does time and knowledge of what to do that works — for you, your partner and your relationship.

It is a common roadblock in relationships–a woman is ready to make a commitment and a man doesn’t want to make that step. What should you do? How do you broach the subject? You love your man but wonder, is he really the one? Why isn’t he ready to make a commitment?

A woman feels the pressure to get married even though her partner may be happy to keep things the way they are. Inside her biological clock ticks away, accompanied by thoughts of getting married and starting a family. She may feel something is missing in her relationship if they donít tie the knot. Generally speaking, after dating for six months, a woman will feel the need for a deeper commitment. If he hasnít brought up the subject, she will.

Without an understanding of how women think, men fail to realize the importance of “going all the way” emotionally = making a commitment. On the other hand, without an understanding of men, a woman doesn’t understand why he can be happy with their relationship, just the way it is. In his mind, as long as he is getting his needs met and is happy, why risk moving to the next stage?
Commitment is to women what sex is to men. For example, let’s say a man wants to go all the way with a woman. If she only wants to go to second base, he instinctively feels something is missing. Similarly, a woman wants to go all the way emotionally, get married, and he thinks he may miss out if he does.

When a man is exclusive with a woman, it means that he has made her more important than anyone else. Having done this, he becomes vulnerable. His feelings for her can be wonderfully strong, but at the same time he may feel out of control. Talking about making a commitment may make him feel like his freedom is slipping away.
When a woman is ready to move the relationship towards a more serious commitment and a man stays a step behind, her behavior may change. If a couple is indecisive about moving toward marriage, a woman may even deny her need to get married. Or, feeling desperate, she may give him an ultimatum, in the hopes of getting the
response she seeks.

For Men:

Reassure her that you understand what she is going through and are willing to listen. This sets the tone for communication. Ask her what she wants and then listen–attentively. If you become defensive, communication will stop.
Take time to acknowledge her need to talk. If you are not ready to take the next step, all you have to do now, is listen. Next, be honest about your feelings with her. A woman may not like what you say, but she can deal with knowing where she stands better than she can, wondering and worrying.

For Women:

Without blaming him, gracefully share how you feel. This way he will be able to respond more positively. If he doesn’t, remind him, this is not a problem, you just need to talk.

Discuss about how you feel about your relationship. This will awaken his duty to discuss his intentions with you. After you share with him how you feel, ask him will share his feelings with you. Your ability to accept his response will build trust and increase his comfortability factor with you. Feeling safe and comfortable is essential for a healthy, loving relationship. Remember, he may need more time than you do, but you are off to a great start.