As we move into the next season of the year, the days begin to get shorter, and our habits begin to change. We’ll spend more time indoors, get out our sweaters and begin to settle into Fall. Before we turn around, the holidays will be upon us. Our thoughts turn to spending time with family and friends.This is a perfect time to let those close to you know how you feel. Express affection for your partner, call and email your friends and family, or contact someone who has been on your mind lately. Tell them what they mean to you. Don’t miss the opportunity to tell someone you care. Sometimes the best surprises come when they are least expected.

We live in challenging times. Each and everyday, we have a wonderful opportunity to be a blessing in someone’s live. Today be a blessing in someone’s life and watch it come back to you.

We listen but do we really hear what another is saying? Listening is defined as: paying attention to; making an effort to hear. Take this definition a step further and put yourself in another person’s shoes. What would it feel like to experience what they are feeling? Instead of interrupting and trying to give your opinion, just listen. Listen with the sole purpose of trying to understand.

We can get so caught up in our day that we forget to take time to just listen. To prove this, the next time you are in a restaurant or at a coffee house, listen to two people having a conversation and notice how often they interrupt each other.

When we listen to someone else, when we put ourselves in their shoes, not only do we learn something about that person, we give them the gift of our attention. We learn something about them we didn’t know and we grow in our ability to be empathic.

Listening also shows respect. Try listening, without interrupting, the next time you have a conversation with someone. Practice it often. You’ll be glad you did.

What motivates you? What drives you to go in a particular direction? When you wake up in the morning, what motivates you to start your day? When you can answer these questions, you will know at a deeper level, who you are.

When you know who you are, you can decide how you want to show up in the world. This, in turn, determines how you will behave in your relationships with others.

Who do you want to be today? You get to choose. You get to decide in every moment who you want to be. Keep in mind, it is okay to be happy, okay to be sad, okay to be funny, okay to want to be alone and okay to want more. Try to refrain from judging your behavior. When you make a conscious choice, before you follow through with it, stop and notice how you feel. Do you want to make any adjustments? You are in charge of your choices. Make those choices good ones.

Do you ever feel like giving up? That life isn’t fair? We have all felt this way at one time or another. Despite our efforts, we can’t get life to move in the direction we want it to go. We want life to look one way, but that isn’t our experience.

Resisting what is happening, versus what we want, will only intensify those negative feelings. Don’t fight what isn’t working. Don’t waste precious time by making a list of why you are right or why it should be different. Instead, just for a moment, try to look at it from another perspective. Is there another way of looking at this problem? How could it be different than how you are perceiving it? When you can, practice the art of non-resistance.

Do you ever notice that when you reflect back on the hardest times of your life, that was when you experienced the most growth? It was what made you stronger, it humbled you, and molded you into the person you are today. Celebrate that. Give yourself a pat on the back. You are still here…and you’ve come a long way, baby!

Those are magic words……especially for a woman. When a woman hears someone offer help by saying, “How can I help you?”, her burdens suddenly become lighter. Why? Because when a woman hears the possibility that help is on its way, she is suddenly aware that she doesn’t have to do everything herself, and she can relax. She will feel better just because someone asked and showed interest.

When this happens, the “feel-good” hormone, ocytocin, is released in her body causing serotonin to be produced in her brain, all allowing her to relax and let go. In order for a woman to relax, she needs to let go of what is bothering her.

What are the magic words that help you relax? Share with your partner, and the people in your life, what you need to hear. What words or phrase would be helpful for them to say to you when you need to relax or when you want some encouragement and support?

That is why we are here — to help each other — so get busy. Tell the people in your life what you need. And instead of waiting for it, be supportive to another and watch how fast it comes back.